instead of contemplating and overthinking about things like.. idk.. why you never took me out on an actual date (maybe because i was very.. standoff-ish… or uhm..) idk. whatever.
just..
congrats, bro.
Why in the world am i charging my blackberry again? oh, thats right. because Tiny Vessels played on my laptop when i put the itunes on shuffle and some part of me thought, “Hey! it would be an awesome idea to charge your old phone and read through the old, drunken and sober texts..” because you know.. that would be the most normal thing to do when you’re lonely. Not at all a way of self destruction/torture/whathaveyou.
But.. because.. you know, I am almost a month away from that whole situation (although him being out of sight doesn’t actually equal to him being out of my mind. le sigh.), i am.. I REALLY AM trying to let it go, this time instead of just reading through his texts, i will cite one by one why this guy deserves to be forgotten (not just because he is currently 8,000++ miles away)
And so lets start with:
“Hey, im having pizza, call me if you’re okay.”
“sorry i was si meuch deuck. but whayt was your pan?xX”
— i am having a really hard time looking for douchey texts now. this boy is such a sweetheart, i am fucking dying. :( —-
“let down addy”
“fuck 2 days is nothing”
“sorry.” “im really sorry addy” “im sorry, how was your day?”
this is torture. this guy was such a sweetheart. going through his texts and remembering that time we spent together is killing me. this has been such a failure of a post.
ugh. this. hurts.
perfect balance of a douchebag and a nice guy.
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The main reason why i fell in love with this place is the fact that it was my escape from reality - The reality that there is a huge possibility that i am not where i’m supposed to be. The reality that i do not have the strength and determination that i need to succeed in life and to be where i wanna be. I’m mediocre. Inadequate. And the scary part is that i am okay with it. - Packing up and getting on a bus en route to the windy city gave me a certain kind of calmness and freedom that i have never ever felt in my whole entire life.
It’s creepy but at the same time amazing how that place felt like home.
maybe im only remembering all the good stuff, but there weren’t really any bad memories to remember.. i didn’t stay too long for that part.
im leaving in 3 hours and my shit is still all over the place.
if i type it in all caps maybe it will come true.
i dont even remember taking this photo.
in fact, i dont even remember half of what happened that nigghhtttttttt
baltimore
